Gift Guide: Les Femmes d'un Certain Âge
Hi friends, I’ve been agonizing over holiday shopping for the past couple of weeks and it’s thrown me into an existential crisis about my values. Am I prioritizing convenience over ideals? Cheap plastic crap or fast fashion over durable products or memorable experiences with friends and family? More on that another day. For now, let’s talk about that special lady in your life.
What are you getting her for Christmas?!?
🎁
What are you getting her for Christmas?!? 🎁
Women of a certain age, les femmes d'un certain âge, tend to do a disproportionate amount of the holiday shopping and are often left to fend for themselves when it comes to thoughtful gift giving, like the mom Kristen Wiig portrays in the SNL skit Christmas Morning. But we, the givers of thoughtful gifts, also deserve to be the receivers of thoughtful gifts.
Below I’ve amassed a small collection of ideas to get you started—a gift guide for women of a certain age (middle age)— whether you’re shopping for yourself, a partner, a sister, a friend, your mom, someone else’s mom, your weird Aunt June, or that nice lady down the street. Remember, not all of these gift ideas will be right for your special lady. A thoughtful gift is chosen with care and consideration and reflects the recipient's interests, needs, or personality. It’s an opportunity to create a meaningful connection and evoke a sense of appreciation and joy. I believe in you. You can do this!
Let’s get started! Click the category you’d like to explore or scroll through every category:
1: Practical Gifts
Be careful with this one, especially if you’re getting a gift for your partner. Some people, like me, LOVE practical gifts, but other people can get offended. I’ll never forget the year my dad bought my mom a waffle maker for Christmas. He was so excited and she was SUPER PISSED because all she saw was work: my dad had given her the gift of cooking breakfast for all of us.
Reusable Post-its
I noticed I was tearing through post-its for silly one-line reminders and was thrilled to find this reusable alternative: VersaNotes™ by boogie board. I bought the 4x4 Starter Pack with three notes and a pen. The notes are attached to my monitor and I use them for tasks and reminders. My paper post-it consumption has gone down considerably! Sometimes my kids even use them to leave me love notes.
$20 for this set of VersaNotes™ by boogie board
My daughter left me this love note. Demotivational, yet hilarious. She gets me! Always get a kick out of a well-placed F-bomb.
Unpaper Towels
This might not sound like a “fun” gift but I had been wanting to try these for years and for whatever reason couldn’t bring myself to purchase them. Getting them as a gift, for myself, was just the excuse I needed and I’ll never go back! I use these in the kitchen just like you would use regular paper towels. I still use paper towels to clean bathrooms and for really disgusting messes. Since buying these last December, I’ve only used one roll of paper towels. Not only is this a cost savings but I’m also reducing landfill waste.
$38 for 12 - Eugene, OR based company Marley’s Monsters
$25.99 for 24 - ZeroWasteStore
Wool Dryer Balls
I was never a fan of dryer sheets or fabric softeners but I also strongly dislike static in clothes, sheets, and towels. These wool dryer balls are so fun and keep the static to a minimum. My daughter also likes to drip some essential oils on them before she tosses them in with her clothes. They have several adorable styles including laundrybugs (ladybugs), cool friends (penguins), and mama earth. I suggest getting the 6 pack because, let’s face it, laundry doesn’t always get folded right away and with 6 floating around, I’m always able to locate at least 2 of them. Also great for practicing juggling!
$32 for 6, $18 for 3
Waffle Maker
I know, I know. My sister bought me one a few years ago and I LOVE it! Cora and I make a big batch of waffles on Saturday or Sunday morning and freeze most of them. On busy weekday mornings, I can quickly pull a waffle out of the freezer and throw it in the oven for a few minutes. Voila! Easy kid breakfast. A toaster would probably work just as well.
My little chef!
I highly suggest the Double Flip Belgian Waffle Maker from Cuisinart. $119 at cuisinart.com, also available from Amazon and other retailers.
Darn Tough Socks
Are socks a boring gift? Actually, yes, probably… unless you get whimsical stockings that will last a lifetime! Darn Tough socks are unconditionally guaranteed for life. When you wear them out you can send them back and get a new pair. You have to pay for shipping but it’s about a fifth of what a new pair of socks would cost and since you’re sending the old ones back, no worn out socks in the trash! Lots of great sock options.
~$25 per pair
2: EXPERIENCES
Give that special lady the gift of an unforgettable experience or an opportunity to expand her repertoire!
Concert or Show Tickets
Comedy shows, musicals, concerts, OH MY! When you buy a set of tickets to a show, it usually means a great date night too! I often look for shows at smaller, intimate venues with lower ticket prices but sometimes it’s worth paying the big bucks for something special–HAMILTON!–or a band or comedian you’ve been dying to see for ages.
Check your local venues for upcoming shows and get tapped into your local comedy scene. There’s always something happening!
A few of my favorite local comedians:
This gangly goofball is my dentist and a rising PNW comedian. Bert Walpack never stops moving and his energy is infectious. I’m still trying to figure out if comedy or dentistry is the side hustle. Worth seeing!
Sarah’s smart, nerdy, and sometimes dirty comedy is educational and hilarious. She has a PhD in math and isn’t afraid to let you know in every show. Don’t worry, you’ll laugh so hard you won’t even realize she’s secretly teaching you math.
Naomi is delightfully awkward and endlessly endearing. Robotics professor by day, nerdy comedian by night. Her stage presence is unique and memorable. Don’t miss an opportunity to see Naomi live!
Park Pass
If your lady is adventurous, a park or forest pass could be a great gift, especially if it comes with an intention to adventure together. This one is location dependent so check the web or visit a local vendor to make sure you’re getting a pass she’ll actually use.
Oregon Parks Northwest Forest Pass $30
Mount Pisgah Arboretum Annual Membership $75
Dance Classes
Social dance is surprisingly enjoyable. Find classes at a local dance studio or through your local rec center. I know some of you are cringing at this one but try it! It’s healthy to push yourself slightly out of your comfort zone. I love going to dance events solo because it forces me to engage with strangers and immerse myself in the experience but it’s also fun to do with a friend or partner. Plus, it’s impossible to feel sad while you’re dancing!
The iconic Broken Spoke in Austin, TX. I had the best time!
Gift Cards or Passes
Another tricky one but doable! My mom got me a punch pass at the local climbing gym and I loved it! A friend got me an AirBnB gift card one year and it was so fun figuring out how and where I wanted to use it! Make sure to pick an activity your lady will love. Here are some ideas to get you started:
Climbing Gym: Elevation
Martial Arts
Pottery Studio: Potters Quarter
Dance Studio
Music Studio
MasterClass
I’ve wanted a MasterClass subscription for 3 or 4 years and for whatever reason couldn’t justify the purchase. I think I was holding onto some silly idea that someone would gift it to me or I would find someone I wanted to share the subscription with but this year I bit the bullet and got it for myself. I’m enjoying it so much! I dove headfirst into courses on writing and just discovered a class called “The Magic of Menopause.” Boy howdy, I can’t wait to dig into this!
Subscription prices vary depending on package. I snagged an annual membership for $90 on a promo.
Rosetta Stone
Gift the gift of language! I asked my mom and sister to sponsor a lifetime subscription to Rosetta Stone last year so I could learn some Italian before my big trip abroad. There are lots of other language programs and everyone’s preferences vary. Worth bringing up in a casual conversation with your lady before springing for this one.
Subscription packages vary. The lifetime subscription goes on sale periodically. Right now you can get it for $149.
3: Cost Conscious
You may not want to blow the bank but you can still be thoughtful!
Cash
Cash is king, as they say, but when giving cash it’s all about presentation! I like to get crafty with cash and fold it into fun shapes. Last year I helped a friend fold $20 bills into hearts and then cleverly display them inside windows we cut into empty cracker and cereal boxes for each of his nieces and nephews. The kids were excited to open a wrapped box even though it felt empty. Huge smiles when they opened the package and saw the cash heart. For a friend’s birthday one year I made money into a men’s shirt and a woman’s dress and drew a scene to incorporate the folded bills with a little story about what I thought they might do with the cash. There are tons of ways to fold bills. Get creative and have fun!
A Bottle of Bubbly… or Bourbon… or Whatever
Make your lady’s spirits bright with a bottle of fancy booze. Get it? Spirits bright? I love a good pun! If she doesn’t drink alcohol, there are plenty of delightful non-alcoholic (NA) options. My favorite local distillers:
Fancy Snacks
Pop into your local natural food store and buy that special lady some fancy snacks! This could be everything from chocolate to chips to protein bars, sodas and seltzers and all those fancy drinks she wouldn’t normally splurge on. Oooh, or all the pickled things! For my birthday, a friend made me a gift bag with hand-picked fancy treats and I loved it!
Market of Choice (pictured right)
Other great spots in Eugene:
Local Crafts & Goods
Get the lady in your life something special that she wouldn’t buy for herself, or a collection of small wonders:
Coffee shops: buy coffee or merch!
Cute shops downtown (like Passionflower and Down to Earth)
Local galleries (like Maude Kerns)
4: Fancy Things: Jewelry!
Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing
A ring, I don't mean on the phone
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry, tonight
Handcrafted or Custom Jewelry
Handcrafted or custom jewelry can be a great gift but make sure to select a piece that special woman in your life will cherish. If you’re not sure what she likes, study the pieces she chooses to wear and ask her about them. Anytime friends have gotten me rings, earrings, necklaces, and bracelets I have always been thrilled to receive them.
My friend Emilie sent me a piece from Trecy Bleich’s Open Circle collection when I was in the middle of an acute crisis (dad’s death, divorce, job loss). This gift meant so much to me! It’s a sweet and subtle reminder that “whatever challenges encircle our lives, there is always an open door.”
Stumbled upon this talented artist in Portland, ME - gorgeous pieces!
Fig in Salem, OR. I’m working with Laura on a custom piece that will be a gift for me, from my children.
Also check your local artisan and holiday markets! Eugene Holiday Market
5: Pampering
Gift Cards
We all need a little pampering from time to time but often don’t prioritize this kind of self-care because it can feel indulgent. A gift card can be the perfect forcing function for some much needed R&R.
Massage Gift Card
Pedicure Gift Card
Make-up Gift Card: You may not know exactly what she likes but a gift card gives her an opportunity to pick from a wide selection of products. Figure out a way to ask what brands she likes without tipping her off or go look through her make-up bag, you stalker! Some of my favorites are Origins and MAC. If you’re not up for rifling through her stuff, go for a catchall like Sephora or Ulta.
Robe
A robe isn’t the right gift for everyone. It depends on the person, and on the robe! This Sari Robe from Uncommon Goods is made of rich strips of repurposed saris. It’s gorgeous and lightweight but feels luxurious. It’s so colorful and beautiful. I love mine so much, I bought one for a friend. Twinsies!
If your lady’s style is less rainbow and more monotone, consider something soft and grey, or some grounded earth tones.
$54 Uncommon Goods
“And I got a robe. Thanks for the robe. It’s really, really nice. Thanks for the robe, guys. This is great.”
Perfume
I miss this Guy
My dad used to buy me Happy by Clinique every Christmas when I was in high school and, with a goofy smile on his face, he’d say something silly like, “I’m the only man who’s ever bought you perfume!”
I don’t wear Happy anymore because I’m not 17 and we’re finally out of the aughts (early 2000s) but to this day, my dad is the only man who’s ever bought me perfume.
I think I’ll keep it that way.
Perfume is a very personal gift so be careful. Only purchase a specific fragrance if you’re sure it’s one she likes. Don’t go rogue and pick out a new fragrance on your own. Chances are, it won’t land well. However, if you’re feeling brave and want to give the gift of fragrance without picking one out, I suggest a gift card with a few perfume samples and an offer to help pick the perfect scent.
A few years ago I set out to find the perfect perfume. My vision for my new scent was “clean fresh hippie” and I found it at OLO Fragrance in Portland, OR. My bougie friend Emilie loves Le Labo and sweetly pulls me into to every Le Labo store from Seattle to Portland, Reykjavik to Milan. They have stores across the globe, but not in every state so check the store locator first.
Weighted Blanket
I finally broke down and bought one of these after I stayed the night at a friend’s house and had the pleasure of sleeping peacefully under a weighted blanket. I wasn’t sure if a weighted blanket was right for me because it’s already hard to get up in the morning. Being held down by a weighted blanket seemed like another obstacle between me and my morning coffee. Or what if it was enough to keep me from hurling my tired body out of bed entirely? I had visions of me, depressively trapped in my bed. I used to say “A weighted blanket is a gateway drug to depression.”
Well, it does keep my in bed a little longer some days but it’s also magic. I love it. My kids love it, too, on the nights they sneak into my bed.
I chose this particular blanket because it was inexpensive relative to other weighted blankets, larger than most weighted blankets, and it’s washable. The guidance for choosing weight says about 10% of your body weight. I’m 140lbs so a 14lb blanket would have been ideal but 17lbs was the lightest option in this style so I went for it!
$63-$90 at Target: 60"x80" 17lbs Weighted Blanket by Bare Home
6: Thoughtful & Creative
Coupons!
One year my kids made me coupons to do adorable and helpful things like clean their rooms, go to bed without a fight, give me a hug. They made them with my mom and were so excited to give them to me. One of the most thoughtful gifts!
Coupons don’t have to be from kids, adults can give each other coupons too! You can give a friend a free night of babysitting, give a partner a fun date night or a day off from housework. You can give a friend a 3hr block to do anything! Maybe your friend needs help going through their closet or that messy bathroom cabinet. Maybe they need a movie night or jam session. There are so many ways to give the gift of your time and energy. Get creative and make some coupons!
Framed Photos
Print some pictures and frame them for someone you love!
Places I like to find frames:
Thrift Stores
Michael’s (always with a coupon)
Marshall’s / TJ Maxx
Amazon
Art
Give the gift of art! Sometimes a piece of art speaks to me or reminds me of someone or a time and place. It could be postcard, a print, a small sculpture, a piece of pottery, anything. Be careful not to give someone a project though. I have received unframed prints from friends and those gorgeous prints are still unframed, years later. Maybe I’ll add “frame all unframed art” to my goals for next year. Framing can cost a little more, but it makes the piece complete and ready to hang. A great place to find art is at a local holiday market, gallery, or boutique.
Framing options:
Local framing shop
Find a Thrift Store frame that fits
One of my favorite local artists, Erika Beyer:
Tattoo
Give the gift of body art! If you know which shop/artist your lady frequents, a gift card would be a great option. Otherwise, a home-made coupon would do just fine. A friend of mine planned a whole weekend getaway so his lady could get a custom tattoo from her favorite out-of-state artist. Such a sweet, and very permanent, gift.
7: Just for fun!
I talk a good game about not wanting a bunch of cheap plastic crap in my house but sometimes a thing sparks so much joy that it’s worth it. Usually that thing is gold, or flashy, or sparkly. Here are some of my favorites:
$32 at Jenni Earle
I know, I know, this is just going to sit somewhere but it will definitely spark joy! Pretty sure a friend is getting one of these for me this year and I can’t wait to proudly display it on my desk!
$105-$150 at Target, likely available from other retailers
Santa brought this for me last year and we all love it! We’ve also all fallen off of it a few times. Could be a wrist breaker. Hoverboard with care!
The epitome of cheap plastic crap but it brings oh so much JOY! Extremely portable, all you need is an outlet and you have an instant party!
$18 for 2 on Amazon, likely available from other retailers: search “Colorful Rotating Magic Ball Light”
Please let me know, in the comments, if any of these ideas worked for you, if you enjoyed this gift guide, or if you have any suggested additions!
Happy Holidays!
